IT'S ALL KICKING OFF: MARIO FOOTBALL RUMOURED
Itsa him, Mario, playing football. No, really...
16:11 Rumours are a wonderful thing. Sometimes they give hope to a fanbase, like how George Broussard's yearly, "it'll be out this year, honest!" comments give spark to the lives of the two remaining souls waiting for Duke Nukem Forever.
Sometimes they make us cry, like when we read the JJ Abrams rumoured-to-be-greenlit Superman Movie script (Lex Luthor is an alien, Superman gets his powers from the suit, etc...).
Then there was the rumour of infinite laughter we received today. Mario Football.
First of all, we should point out that when we called Nintendo about this rumour we were met with the famous "Nintendo does not comment on rumour and speculation" line. But we've heard whispers from our sources that Mario could indeed be pulling on his shinpads.
Ronaldo. Pele. Mario. Phonetically, this concept could work, though our imaginations fail to see how a portly Italian plumber could dribble balls with the two previously mentioned. Perhaps he'd burn their calves with his fireball skills before taking the ball off them? Maybe he'd ingest a magic mushroom to turn big enough to be the ultimate goalie? Our imaginations are running. Wild.
Cynicism aside, we reckon such a game would follow in the footsteps of Soccer Brawl, with exaggerated power shots on goal and crazy slides, complete with the power-ups of ultimate love and pain found in MK: Double Dash to make things more interesting. Just imagine; you've tackled a gorilla and a midget in a mushroom turban. You've made it to the six yard box. All that stands before you and the goal is a princess holding a daft umbrella. You prep your shot, and...
...get shocked by lightning and shrink in size. The princess squashes your newly dwarfed body and steals the ball. Your pride is crushed. You are ashamed.
Although half of us are laughing at the continually shameless and relentless whoring of Nintendo's most famous mascot, the other half has an open mind and is curious to see what comes up of this intriguing concept.
And it's not exactly impossible given the dungareed dodger's multi-skilled history:
Mario is saving a princess.
Mario is painting things.
Mario is racing karts.
Mario is a doctor.
Mario is playing golf.
Mario is playing tennis.
Mario is playing basketball.
Mario is playing baseball.
Mario is playing... football!
It seems likely that Camelot - the team behind Mario Golf and the recent Mario Tennis - would be on development duties since they specialise in crazy sports madness.
The GameCube would seem the most likely place for Mario's spin on the beautiful game, although a DS version is a possibility. In fact, when Nintendo first talked about the uses of the DS's dual-screen they specifically used a football game as an example... the plot thickens.
We nervously await the news of what Mario will be doing next, though we'll keep our ears and eyes open for further details of Mario's possible footie outing.